Apparently, a fellow conference attendant attempted to ask her out in an elevator for coffee at 4am (in a shy, "geeky" manner).Watson was made uncomfortable by the situation, created a vlog post discussing it, and that post ignited a heated debate (which even drew in Richard Dawkins, many feminist rebuttals, and spiraled out of control).

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Kaufman wrote his article and provided some points for men. However, upon further reflection, I decided my personal advice differs a bit from his thoughts.

My perspective encourages men to be active and assertive.

In fact, it is my opinion (and one of the principles of my approach) that all individuals are entitled to be assertive about their needs, wants, and desires.

Both men and women should respect each other's boundaries, but also be free to pursue their interests.

We should be looking for the win-win at all times, without stifling each other, or censoring the other group.

So, in this instance, while I believe women's needs for safety and comfort are very important, I also hold that they can be respected in ways that do not require men to renounce their masculinity, confidence, goals, aspirations, or assertiveness. Ideally, look for situations where a woman is most comfortable and approach her there.

Therefore, this advice is for men who would like to grow to be "confident, assertive, and masculine" above-and-beyond simply "shy, geeky, and nice" - and it offers a few additions to the points put forth by Dr. Learn to be comfortable wherever she is comfortable (read my post HERE if you get approach anxiety).

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